Today I am 37 weeks pregnant. I am full term. The baby *should* be fully developed, lungs mature, ready to meet me whenever he is ready. I am hoping for later rather than sooner. He seems pretty cozy in there for now. I had to reach 37 weeks in order for me to give birth at home and today is the day. Holy Crap.
I am stressing because now my house has to stay clean. Try telling that to my husband and son! While I am going to admit that I feel pretty darn good for 37 weeks, picking toys up off the floor, constantly washing, drying, folding, putting away clothes, and washing dishes is not as easy as it was a few months ago. I tried to convey this to my husband but I still see a sink full of dishes. I tried to tell my son and he still threw a bunch of books on the floor. *sigh*
My back up birth tub will arrive tomorrow according to UPS. I am aiming to rent an AquaDoula but if the mother currently renting it doesn’t deliver in time before me then I have a back-up Fishy Pool. My birth kit is pretty much stocked except for paper towels (we don’t use them anymore so I have to remember to buy them!) and a naturally sweetened Gatorade alternative since I cannot have the real stuff with Gestational Diabetes. My tiny diapers are laid out along with a tiny t-shirt and a tiny blanket and a tiny hat.
The funny thing is, I have NO CLUE what this kid is going to look like. I dreamed about my first son. We had a few 4D ultrasounds and could tell he had pouty lips and a tiny chin like me. This boy hasn’t even let us see a profile when we had ultrasounds. I can’t even guess what nose and chin he has. Will he have dark hair like Daddy, or will he have my blonde hair like my son?
I can’t say I am feeling excited, or nervous, or dread. I am trying to relish the time I have left as a mother of one. I am giving extra cuddles to my boy and loving on him like there is no tomorrow. I keep telling him about the baby in my belly, which he likes to blow raspberries on, roll his toy cars over, and lift his shirt to bump his belly against. Sometimes, he points to his belly and says “baby.” He might be a little confused. Hey, he is only 22 months!
I keep trying to imagine what the birth is going to be like. I don’t know if that is a good or bad thing. In my mind, I will go to 40 weeks or later. I will have a long labor, but I will have a lot of support. But what if I go next week? And what if my labor isn’t that long? I kind of want a somewhat long labor since I have to get my midwife here (1.5 hour commute). I need time to make sure my house is ready in case it wasn’t before. I need time to mentally prepare myself to give birth again! This time, drug free!
Then what? I will have a new nursling and a rambunctious and lovable toddler. I want to think this is my last baby. I feel like it is. We will see.
In case you are wondering, I do plan on Tweeting and Facebooking during my labor. My husband or doula will likely take over as things progress and I want to throw things. I will use a #twitterbirth hashtag. If it is me tweeting I will sign “-K” and if it is hubby, he will be “-S.” If my doula decides to take a turn expect an “M.” There may or may not be non graphic photos involved. I might tweet often, I might only tweet every hour or longer. I don’t know how this whole thing is going down! If you aren’t already, follow me on Twitter- @KimRosas– and “like” me on Facebook – Dirty Diaper Laundry Fan Page- so you will get an update as I go into labor.
If you read everything on this page, congratulations, you just read a stream of consciousness, unedited blog post from the brain of a pregnant lady!
I hope everything goes as planned for you! I will be watching Twitter for your updates.
You’re going to do great – don’t worry about it! One thing I would suggest (if someone hasn’t told you already) is don’t think of a drug-free birth as being *so* much harder than a medicated birth. It’s a totally different animal. In fact, women who did not have pain meds report their births as being less painful.
When I started looking forward to my homebirth, my husband walked me through a relaxation exercise where he painted a picture of our birth. For some reason, the thing I loved most was when he said “And we’ll have everything we need.” I loved the idea of being at home, because nothing could be forgotten. Hungry? We’ve got food. Thirsty? We’ve got water. Want to lie down? Well, there’s your own bed and your own pillow. Want nothing more than to be left alone? Just go in your room and close the door.
You’re going to love it.
definitely work on relaxing and thinking positively about your birth- my suggestion would be to let go of your expectations and just believe it will be the way it is meant to be. breathe and repeat repeat repeat! you look gorgeous, that belly is beautiful and you are going to have an amazing experience!
Good luck! You’re defiantly all baby.
You can do it! I had a natural, drug free birth with my son Rowan, and it was amazing! Hard work, but I imagine it is with the drugs, and you feel so wonderful after you have your baby, and its overall amazing. Good luck, remember you can do it!
You ar beautifully pregnant! Enjoy your last few weeks, you’ll do great! We’re all as anxious as you are! Hugs!
I read it all… you look great, though I understand the not feeling like doing dishes & picking up toys!
I pray you have your perfect homebirth <3
As a midwife, lemme tell you to not even think one more second about a clean house. WE HAVE SEEN IT ALL! “Hoarders” ain’t got nuttin’ on some of the houses I’ve been in while women birthed. Dishes in the sink? Peeshaw!
Have a fabulous birth. I’ll be watching! 🙂
I read it all! Wow you are getting close!
I am echoing another commenter’s statement of “don’t think about a drug-free birth being so much more painful”. It’s NOT!
I was amazed…I think I’ve told you this before but my first son was induced at 40 weeks, had epidural, he got kind of stuck, needed forceps, every intervention imaginable short of a c-section, I think. Not the greatest experience.
But my second son? A natural birth and a BREEZE compared to the first. It didn’t get rough until about 8.5 cms. Once I succumbed and let them break my water at that point, things went FAST. Your body knows what to do…there WAS a moment of “HOLY CRAP what was I thinking”, but I knew it was transition, and I knew he’d be coming soon.
I’m excited to hear about your new son – two boys are so much fun and it’s so neat to see both of their different personalities develop. My 2nd son turns one tomorrow, so I’m kind of feeling nostalgic. 🙂 Good luck, it will be SO MUCH EASIER than the first time. Trust me!
I hope you have a great labor or delivery! I know it will be a blessed event. I love reading up on your pregnancy and will love to hear more as the days go on.
I know what you mean about your little boy and how he acts with the belly and all. My son is the same way (I am 21 weeks). He has even done the whole baby in his belly thing too. They can be so cute when they don’t completely get it. 🙂 While a longer labor might be nice, I know if I went through labor like my first (2 hrs), I would be happy. It can be really intense, but it is over so fast then, and really it was nice. I know you are doing a home birth and all, but when you have a short labor, you don’t have time for anything anyway. That was nice. Now I know if I did want a home birth, I could do it. 🙂
Sorry for this stream of consciousness, unedited comment by a preggy lady! Lol
Good luck Momma!
Your belly looks great!!! I look that big and i’m only 28.5 weeks with #3. Carrying totally differently than my older kiddos. we too are planning our first homebirth an i think that keeping the house clean will be our biggest challenge! Good Luck! and have a happy birth!
I can’t imagine how hard that must be! I am struggling to keep my place clean just to come home from the hospital to. But congrats on making it this far and good luck with your home birth! If I wasn’t in an apartment I would definitely consider going that route. Can’t wait to read all about it.
You are gorgeous! I agree with Navel Gazing Midwife – don’t worry about the house. With baby #2 our house was cluttered from our 2 yo (and life!), but tidying up AFTER I went in to labor helped keep me moving and allowed me to ‘work’ through the contractions. By the time active labor began, the house was sparkling and I was gently swaying my baby down the birth canal to Sade’s Lovers Rock Live. Wishing you a wonderful birth!
I read the whole thing! First of all, I love that pic — you look GREAT! I know it’s been a couple more weeks, I wonder if your belly has popped out anymore? It’s a very cute belly. I also loved reading about your son interacting with your belly. My son will be 27 months when his sibling is born in April so I’m sure we’ll have some fun interactions before then.
We’re planning a homebirth, too. I’m really glad that Navelgazing Midwife commented and told you not to worry so much about how “clean” the house is! As long as the midwife and her assistant can move around and find what they need, it will be okay. I don’t think a few dishes in the sink will be a big deal. And like someone else said above, you can pick up after you go into labor. It will be a good way to stay active and keep your mind off focusing on the early labor.
I can’t really speak about having a med-free birth — I didn’t have an epidural but I did have a dose of Nubain (though it did nothing) and had Pitocin, but I had a horrible, long, very difficult labor (my son was facing up and gave me horrible back labor) and was very out of it by the time he was born. But I know I’m not at all anxious about not having access to drugs by having a homebirth; in fact, I’m nothing but excited about being in my own home, with all my food, stuff, etc! I know it will be very relaxing and so much nicer than the hospital. I’m so excited for you and can’t wait to hear how things turn out!
I cannot wait to hear about your home birth! Our daughter was born at home in a birthing tub just over 2 months ago, and it was the most peaceful and perfect birth! Positive birthing vibes headed your way!