My husband was a tough nut to crack when it came to homebirth.

Once I knew I wanted to have our second son at home and I grew the balls to tell him- it wasn’t pretty.

After weeks of discussion he hesitantly agreed to meet with a midwife, if only to shut me up.

The rest is history.

We had our homebirth on October 20, 2010 (birth story).  It was perfect.  Baby and Mom were healthy and my husband never had to see the placenta.

If you saw us on the street you would never think “I bet those people had their baby at home.”

If there is a “homebirth” stereotype it wouldn’t be us.

I asked my husband if I could interview him about homebirth.  While I was researching the idea the one thing I wanted was a movie or video to show my husband that showed “real” guys who supported their wives’ decision to have a homebirth.  (There is a DVD but I was too cheap to buy it!)

Now that he is part of the Homebirthing Dads club I asked him a few questions about getting to that point and the birth itself.

He isn’t a man of many words and he may not give the “OMG Homebirth is awesome!” answers that others would want, but I think his honesty and the fact that he still did it, speak to the fact that anyone can do it.

In case you are wondering, my husband wanted to be “anonymous.”  He has been seen many times on this blog in photos however the video will also be on YouTube so for that avenue he preferred to not show his face.

7 Responses

  1. Thank you so much to the both of you for doing this! My husband and I are expecting our third and are wanting to do a home birth and would love to do a water birth but have met some brick walls and are getting a bit discouraged….  I linked him to this so that we could keep being educated and positive about it all. Thank you so much for this and congratulations on your beautiful baby boys!  You have a beautiful family! 🙂

  2. Really honest – Thank your hubby BIG TIME because his honest responses lend a lot of validity to what many men probably feel.  Great video.

  3. Thanks Kim’s husband for your viewpoint on homebirth!  I find a father’s view on the birth process very interesting.  I always wonder how men feel when they see their wife/partner in pain and how they deal with the emotions tied to having a child.  I’m glad homebirth worked out well for you guys and that you had a great experience.  🙂

  4. Thank you so much for this Kim!  I am 16 weeks, and really want a home water birth, but my husband is extremely opposed to it.  I have rented ‘The Business of Being Born’ for us to watch, and already have 2 midwives and a doula.  I even have a video from the midwife about the father’s perspective – I’ll let you know what it’s like after I watch it.  I do hope I can change dh’s mind.  He’s gone so far as to say thing’s like ‘Why can’t you do anything normal’, and ‘You can have a homebirth but I won’t be there’.  I think he’s just terrified of the idea and needs some facts and reassurance.  His faith in the hospital system scares me almost as much as homebirth scares him 🙂

    1. Janet- I feel your pain. It was extremely difficult to get hubby to come
      around. We had many fights over the issue and he gave me the cold shoulder.
      If I hadn’t been so afraid of another hospital birth I would have given up.
      Yet every time I imagined my birth it was at home so I knew it was meant to

      I don’t know what “broke” him down into at least meeting with the midwife.
      I remember one particular night I laid in bed silently crying after another
      failed discussion. The clock was running out and I knew if I didn’t call
      and get a midwife soon it would be too late. I think after he finally
      understood how afraid I was of what COULD happen (thanks to my GD which
      meant a certain induction and higher chance of a C-Section) he very
      reluctantly agreed.

      Also, there were (surprisingly) a few men from his office who had babies
      born at home. Pointing out that those other very “normal” men in the
      corporate world had gone through a homebirth and lived to tell the tale
      (with healthy babies) was a huge selling point. One couple was so non
      “homebirthy”- wife was a lawyer and professor and the husband was very high
      up in the corporate office- and using them as an example helped.

      I hope there is a way to resolve your differences. It can be stressful to
      any marriage when you disagree on something so important.

  5. Hubby was iffy about homebirth our first pregnancy. But the second time around he was totally onboard. And it was awesome. I would not deliver a baby anywhere else – and Hubby would never want me too He has already said that it is going to kill him if our daughters decide to have their babies in a hospital.

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