My next birth experience will be in roughly 107 days, at a hospital located about 15 minutes from my home, and will hopefully be attended by my Midwife, my husband, and my doula.
Things I would like to be different from my first birth.
I do not want to be induced again.- I do not want to be chained to an IV pole and fetal monitor
- I do not want to have limited access to a shower (I had none)
- I do not want to be barred from any food from the start of labor until giving birth. (I did not eat for over 24 hours and all I could think about was food, not my labor or my baby)
- I do not want to receive pain medication (I did receive an epidural. Though the nap was nice, I am hoping having food, not being induced, and laboring at home more will prevent this)
- I do not want to be told when to push.
- I do not want my baby to be prevented from nursing within the first 45 minutes because he is breathing a tiny bit funny.
Things I want to be the same as my first birth.
- I do want my husband by my side (at my beck and call)
- I do want A Lindt Chocolate bar in my labor bag for after delivery (Since I had gestational diabetes last time. I test in 3 weeks)
- I do want the most delicious tuna sandwich in the world after delivery, especially if it is at 4 am.
- I do want great nurses who are supportive and helpful.
- I do want to delay the cord clamping.
- I do want to pull my son out myself once the shoulders are out and put him on my chest.
- I do want a lactation consultant to check with our nursing progress, even though I am an experienced breastfeeder, my son won’t be an experienced nurser.
- I do want to cuddle my adorable new son, who will be rooming in with me.
I am looking for an almost entirely different experience that my last. I am hoping that my midwife will allow me to go into labor naturally even if I have gestational diabetes. I also just met with my doula and I believe she is going to help tremendously with attaining a natural birth. The only concern I have currently is who will watch my son while I am in the hospital. We do not have family (or friends really) in the area. My son relies on me to fall asleep for his naps and at night. He also sleeps with us the majority of the night. Me being gone will be hard for both of us.
Now that I have a great support team in place all I need is to wait for my son to arrive. Hopefully that will be on 10-10-10.
That all sounds great, I hope my next birth experience is like that. I am wanting to have another baby and with the next one I want to use cloth diapers, that is why I am looking at your website. My first 2 children were born by C-section. I did not want to have a C-section with the second one but the doctor would not let me try for a VBAC. I am really hoping that the next time will be different. I never knew that you could tell the doctors and nurses how you want the birth to be, I always thought it was up to the doctor.
@Emilie You absolutely can tell your doctor and the nurses what you expect. The important thing is to find a doctor who will honor your requests, which obviously most won’t. In your case, you need a doctor who is proven successful with VBACs. In my area there is only one who will really work with women on VBACs, and I happen to be at his office with his midwife. My midwife believes in low medical intervention. My previous doctor acted to prevent a malpractice suit, and she flat out told me so. Therefore I was induced for no reason. My baby was definitely not ready to come out, I was hardly a 1 when I went in.
If there are any AP groups where you live that is a good place to research VBAC friendly doctors. Or you can call around and ask. Then if you find one you can interview them and tell them up front what you want. They will let you know what they are willing to do, or what is possible.
I hope you can find someone in your area!
I love and will blatently steal you chocolate idea. Mothering on facebook recently had a good thing about what you will do/do differently with your birth plan.
I found it helpful to prioritize my birth plan, I want, I would like etc.
I was induced 10 days late (we all agreed) and it went very well for the most part since I only needed a wiff. I chose non-epidural pain relief after they had the pit turned up higher than we needed and it gave me that break with out the restraints of an epidural. I wanted to eat, but my stomach had other plans.
Include aftercare for tears. I knew I did not want an episiotomy, but not what I wanted to happen in terms of tear repair. I stupidly said I did not need a local for that and ended up not holding my new baby because it hurt so much while they stitched me up.
You are braver than me!!! I’m really in awe of moms who are able to do all these things that I am simply too wimpy to even consider. Hello, epidural, my bestest friend ever! It sounds like you are ready to have the birth experience that is just right for you, and going into it prepared with your list should certainly help that to happen. I hope you are able to have everything on your list.
Best wishes for you!
Eating sounds great when you’re not actually in labor. For me, I threw up everything I had in me with both my labors. Might as well try though, I guess!
Sounds great! I’d never thought of the pulling the baby out yourself thing, I think I might like that idea. If I have another child, no one by my hubby and I are touching him/her until after the first nursing (took me over an hour of repeated “can I have the baby now?”s and I think that caused part of our bf difficulties!
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OMG! You are so brave. Birth for me has been a scary experience for me. I might just be a worry wart (as all the women in my family are). But I do want the next one to be a bit more peaceful. I might take some of “powers” with me during my next delivery (hopefully), as I want four children.
Best of luck to you and your family!
CJR
.-= Cinella´s last blog ..Who likes FREE? =-.
This is so the perfect time for me to read this….
I was due with my first baby yesterday. I’m really trying to avoid being induced, and I’m going to try to be drug free. I really want to be “there” for my baby’s birth. I am afraid if I get interventions and things are rushed unnecessarily that I will end up a C-section. If it is medically necessary – then I’m ok with being a C-section… but I feel that a lot of them are done as a result of interventions…….
I have heard from many woman, on blogs like yours and birth stories on You Tube, that have had an epidural the first time don’t want it the second time. I think this is a good sign that it is not for me.
Thank you for this reaffirmation of my feelings – I know what I am hoping for is right for me, and you helped me!!!
Best wishes for your next birth. I had my two close together as well. we worked hard with my son, who at the start of my pregnancy could not be left for an evening, until he could be left overnight. we did a “trial run” and it went well. I would cultivate time away from your son and develop his independence before the baby arrives so that the only trauma he has then is that there’s a new baby and not also that mom was gone for 3 days. (Or however long). It will be good for him and it will be hard for you to put him to sleep like that when you have a new baby as well. There’s just not enough mom to go around sometimes and everyone has to give.
As for your birth plan, may I suggest one thing to add to the list? Relax. I mean that well. Being able to go with the flow is one of the best ways to make sure your body can do what it needs to. I’ve seen mom’s so caught up in having the perfect “natural” birth that they stress themselves straight out of one. The goal, always, is a healthy mom and a healthy baby at the end of birth with a minimal amount of trauma for everyone. It means there’s a time and place for everything. I am with you. I had a full induction with my son, born two weeks early due to preeclampsia. It was no fun. I had the epidural. I was made to lay in bed in one position (my blood pressure elevated when I sat up). I hoped for things to be different the second time. And they were, both for good and bad. I had a natural labor. we barely made it to the hospital before I was complete. It came fast and hard and then…I couldn’t push. My body wouldn’t let me. It was agony. absolute agony. I got meds. They wore off. I got another epidural (the first was an intrathecal, a one time shot). I was complete for 6 hours. I pushed to no avail. A new doc came on. He figured out that my baby girl was face presentation. very rare and impossible to deliver vaginally. The anesthesia I had allowed him to move my pelvic bones around and move my baby girl so her chin was tucked back down. she came flying on out as soon as he fixed that. I was so grateful for the anesthesia. It prevented a c-section. You just never know what’s going to happen and being willing to do what is needed and prudent in the moment can be key.
Best wishes.
I had the same fears about what to do with our first child when the second was ready to arrive. It was actually my biggest fear! I just couldn’t fathom WHAT we would do when the time came. I thought about having my MIL drive in for a few weeks stay (heh, did NOT really want this option), but just couldn’t figure out what we would actually do. We lucked out and were able to put her down in her bed right before leaving for the hospital. A good friend and co-worker came over to watch over the house and her (although she just slept the whole time) until my hubs could come back home later that night after our girl was born.
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@Megan (comment 5) I wasn’t allowed to eat starting from the time I was admitted (8 am) until an hour after I gave birth. And since I had not had breakfast it turned out to be over 24 hours without food, just broth and jello. I would have loved to eat around lunchtime before contractions were too intense. I did become nauseous after they broke my water. So I wouldn’t have eaten then.
@Megan (comment 8) There is truth in the fact that women release a hormone that makes them forget how painful labor is lol. Even right after a contraction (and after intense moaning/humming) I would look at my husband and say “Oh that wasn’t so bad, I can do that again” every time! You forget the pain almost immediately. So I may be fooling myself. But I am hopeful that with the support of my midwife and doula I can avoid pain relief. Certainly if we didn’t forget how painful it is we would have a lot fewer children in the world! I wish you all the success in the world! Recovery will be easier if you don’t have an epi too.
Tuna fish sandwich sounds REALLY good. I think I’ll make a list for our Dec. birth.
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hey kim, what is the benefit of delayed clamping? i have heard of most things but i havnt heard of that one yet so i’m just curious. your birth plan soiunds great. i hope my next can be like that. i had developed high blood pressure while i was pregnant (not pre-e though) and so i had to be hooked up which was not fun for me at all and to top it all off i was induced and chose the epidural which they were not aware but they did not give me until i was actually 10cm.. they checked me right after giving me the epi and were like “oh, youre at 10”.
Your first experience sounds a lot like my first one and many other women out there. I think the entire way women are ‘told’ about labour and birth needs to change. My second experience was better but still not ‘ideal’ I’m hoping for it to go even better this time around. If you’re interested you can read my birth stories here… http://fromonemommatoanother.blogspot.com/2009/11/birth-stories.html
I too, had no one to watch my first son since the hospital was 2 hours away from where we lived. He ended up being in the room for most of the labour and the nurses took him out to colour for the last little bit as I was getting quite loud. He came back in just minutes after his brother was born and it was such a special moment for them!
.-= Christina´s last blog ..please, please, please =-.
My second labor and delivery were totally different from my first. You can read about it here if you want to: http://macyfron.com/blog/wordpress/?p=419
I thought I would tell you about my older daughter and how we handled the trip to the hospital (the age difference is 21 months). We moved in December from TX to PA. Our second daughter was due in Feb. I basically knew no one we could leave her with. Plus we had never left her alone with anyone, not even family. Basically from the time I found out I was pregnant, I worried about what we would do with our older daughter when we went to the hospital. She still nursed to sleep and slept with me all night long. We had family come and stay with us from 37.5 weeks to 40.5 weeks. My first daughter was born on her own (no induction) at 38 weeks, so I thought there was a good chance this baby would be born early, so that is why we scheduled visits for that time frame. It was definitely stressful having people visiting for so long, but it made me feel ok about having the baby. I wrote up a long list of stuff about how our day usually went, so that if I had to leave when someone had just arrived I would feel a little better. It turns out our second daughter was born at just over 40 weeks, so I was getting worried about what would happen when my dad left. We left for the hospital at about 1:30 am. My older daughter woke up since she woke up practically anytime I left the bed. My dad got up and just sat with her for a LONG time. When we left I told her we were going to the hospital, and she said baby? Yep, we are going to have a baby. She was excited, but a little nervous about me and hubby leaving. My dad said she cried for a while after we left, but eventually he got her calmed down by watching some animal videos on the computer (we had taught him a few tricks to hopefully help calm her down). Then they read on a chair for a long time, like an hour or two. Finally after we had been gone for about 3.5 or 4 hours, she fell back asleep. She didn’t sleep all that long and was definitely needing sleep, but well she survived. My husband came home from the hospital after the baby was born and he had spent a while with us. I think he went home around 8 am, baby was born at 2:23 am. At 11 (visiting hours), he came and brought my daughter and my dad to meet the new baby. She was so excited about the baby.
My husband ended up spending more time at home with our older daughter than at the hospital, because that is what we felt comfortable with. I pushed hard to get out of the hospital fast, I was discharged after about 32 hours. It definitely took some adjusting, but once home my older daughter has slept with her daddy in the other bed and I sleep with the baby in our bed. While we are ready for our older daughter to sleep on her own, she is definitely not ready. She has made it one night in her bed by herself, but that’s it.
Good luck, hope this labor and delivery are better and hope you figure out someone to leave your son with!
.-= Lucy´s last blog ..father’s/mother’s day craft =-.
Just had to share that I had GD too and
.-= Madeline´s last blog ..Rachael Ray Roundup =-.
Just had to share that I had GD too and ate a bag of donuts in the hospital. And a vanilla milkshake. 😉 I got tested at 18 weeks and will be tested again in three weeks so our due dates must be close!
.-= Madeline´s last blog ..Todays Cloth Diaper Giveaways =-.
We had a tough time finding a set of drawers that we really liked for our son’s nursery. We finally went to Ikea and found a wonderful set that is at the perfect height (not to tall) and plenty of drawer space. Also it didn’t cost an arm and leg.
They only had it in white and black when we got it; but it’s now in colors.
http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/40180551
I know this post is old – but I just found your blog the other day so I’m sifting thru a lot of posts.
I especially hope you get supportive nurses. When I had my son our first nurse was great but then her shift was over I guess and I got a super bitchy nurse instead.
I was planning on doing the birth naturally but I gave in and asked for the epidural. She screwed around for a while and when my sister finally reminded the nurse I wanted an epidural because apparently she forgot she said the anesthetician was gone and another one wouldn’t be in for a while (my sister was a frantic mess and freaked out on the nurse…it was pretty funny and distracted me from the pain because she was more nervous than I was).
So they figured everything out so that I could get the epidural as soon as the other guy came in for his shift. I suddenly remembered I could use nitrous oxide and asked the nurse for it and I soon was able to manage the pain with it.
Finally there was someone there who could do an epidural and the nurse came to my side to tell me what I’d need to do. I was already considering not taking it anymore but listened anyway. Then she said you have to stay perfectly still for 10 minutes and I was like, there is no way I can do that. I told her I didn’t want it anymore and she looked at me with all the hate in the world.
For the rest of my labour (which was just over 6 hours in total) she made me feel like a piece of crap. I was so happy to be finished, but the whole time I was working so hard to not yell at her which just added on to all the stress. Now that I think about it, I probably should have said something to her.